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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I hit the streets of Shibata, right? First stop, the famous Shibata Castle. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle? But when I got there, it was like a scene from a horror movie. The place was packed! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they were at a rock concert. I was like, chill, people! It’s just a bunch of old stones! But then I saw the cherry blossoms. OMG, they were in full bloom! I totally forgot my grumpiness.

Katsuyori Shibata Returns To NJPW At NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 19